Stepping into a state of grace
Away from my mistakes
Committed under the weight
Of multiple heartbreaks.
Coming to terms with the pain I was in
Pain impossible to avoid
And as I start the path from pain
I rejoice in the fact, that in that pain I was not destroyed.
It feels like everything happened at once
Everything came in a bundle
Just as I was coming to terms with one
Another tragedy would leave me humbled.
When the foundations of my family
Were crumbling before my eyes
Every other bit of pain and tragedy
Lacerated this heart inside.
I watched some I love
Go through some unexpected horrors
Lost a couple of friends
And the pain of their lost tomorrows.
Lost a bit of myself
Or an image of who I thought I was
Some of it through pain
Some of it through sacrifice for a cause.
Lost the foolish concept
That I can do it all on my own
And have been forced to get more honest
With the pain of my own home.
The pain of my beginnings
The pain of who I am
It’s in pain that I’ve been living
But I can feel it beginning to leave this man.
I accept where it is I’m at
I accept from where it is I’ve come
And I take pride in the fact
Of a lot of what I have done and overcome.
Ain’t done it all that smoothly
But I ain’t done it all that bad
My heart and soul have taken one almighty bruising
Yet here I stand.
I let go of what I hoped might be
And I’ll focus on what can be done
I won’t dwell on lost opportunity
Only on the opportunities to come.
I can’t make others decisions
That’s a privilege for themselves
I’ll just get more focused on the life I’m living
And the responsibility to myself.
I let loose responsibility to others
And redirect that focus to me
I’ve given there what I can
Now I’m giving back to me.
I made it through as best I could
I survived the best way I knew how
So I won’t linger on thoughts of should
When I look at where I am now.
These were years full of loss
And I got a little lost in them
But their lessons were not lost
And out of boys that makes men.
I’ll emerge the stronger
And I’ll emerge the better
I’ll not put up with certain things longer
But I learned I can put up with a hell of a lot of pressure.
So out of years of loss
Years lost in pain
While not side stepping the cost
I can see growth all the same.
I take pride in who I am
Focus on what’s ahead
Things fall as they fall
So I’ll not linger on regret.
Regrets are for those
Who keep their feelings to themselves
Or who walk the path of comfort
When the right path leads through hell.
This life is just a journey
We must not fear its depths
For in that there is such learning
About this world and about ourselves.
I’ve rarely shied from pain
I’ve maybe just been a little slow to share it
Always thought it was my burden to claim
And that I had the strength to bare it.
That’s a part I’m changing
And it’s bringing others closer
As I become more open in my pain and my vulnerability
And a certain family role is over.
There ain’t no fairytales here
It’s just facing what you are
And a lot of people can’t do that
So they can only get so far.
I hold my hands up to my mistakes
But I have compassion for where I was
I was operating under a lot of weights
So I have compassion for my flaws.
I have huge compassion for others
Now it’s time for some for me
And it’s through the act of self-compassion
We really set ourselves free.
Stepping into a state of grace
Away from my mistakes
Committed under the weight
Of multiple heartbreaks.
These were years full of loss
And I got a little lost in them
But their lessons were not lost
And out of boys, that makes men.
© Daniel Breslin