Tag Archives: Loss

Today I Sit In Pain

Sometimes we fall apart

In order to rebuild

Sometimes love breaks our hearts

Because our hearts with love is filled.

 

Sometimes life’s lessons

We be learning slow

And we run in all types of directions

When it feels like pain is all we know.

 

It can be hard to say we messed up

Or just admit you are feeling low

When you really don’t know how to deal with something

Or how to let the pain of it go.

 

It’s not that you feel hopeless

Or you don’t see scope to grow

It’s just you don’t really know where to focus

As your heart tries to cope, with letting its biggest hope go.

 

For I’ve been holding onto hope

In some misplaced broken form

And that hope gave me strength to cope

When my heart and world felt completely torn.

 

For every person needs love

And every person needs hope

And the world is hard enough when you don’t have one

Never mind when you are lacking both.

 

But in our heartbreak, we can find our issues

Pinpoint the things that hold us back

And rebuild some hope in ourselves

When in other situations hope retracts.

 

I always thought I had the answers

Of how to deal with most everything

And that every hardship faced

Was a chance to show strength in suffering.

 

But it’s become painfully clear here that I don’t

As this pain cuts that bit more deep

For while I’m used to rebuilding hope

Attached to this hope, was so much hope for me.

 

To admit you need another

Is just a reality, that comes easy to some

But when you’ve spent your life denying your needs

That can be a massive obstacle to overcome.

 

How does the thing we desire the most?

Become the thing that we most fear?

That we panic in the sight of it

As our body screams to us how long it’s been since it felt near.

 

Reminding us we can’t fight our feelings

We can merely try and deny as we bury them below

And we’ve to get comfortable sitting with them

If we have any hope in letting them go.

 

We can lose hope in other situations

But we must never lose hope in ourselves

We all have our own demons we’re facing

In our own external and internal hells.

 

For me it’s losing someone I care about

For reasons I must let silence tell

And in searching myself, acknowledge losing people I care about

Is something I know a little too well.

 

I can’t hide my vulnerability

Or even try deny the pain I’m in

In fact, I’m sitting in both, admittedly

But maybe in that there’s some kind of win.

 

I always thought I had the answers

Of how to deal with most everything

And that every life tragedy and event

Was a chance to show strength in suffering.

 

But this is a pain I’ve been trying to escape

Only it’s a lie to myself I can’t manage to sell

For there’s so much hope lost for me in this heartbreak

How much I could take, at times, has been hard to tell.

 

‘For pain can be a bludgeon

A prism to see through

Or it can be a smudge on

Your vision, a stain before a more beautiful view.

 

And it’s always been a stain for me

In the heart a painful shot

But I’ve taken many of those

And have yet to see myself stop.’

 

Or at least that’s the voice that’s been in my head

At every hurdle life has thrown in my view

And to a lot of good in my life that voice has lead

But something in it this time rings a little untrue.

 

I always thought I had the answers

But it’s become clear here how much I don’t

As I keep trying to outreason a feeling

But the feeling’s a feeling and stop it won’t.

 

Today the world is dark

Today my heart is blue

But every day is another torch to spark

And each soul is responsible for the torch in you.

 

For when one door offers closure

And hope feels hard to source

Remember hope is life’s greatest soldier

But it’s up to you to light the torch.

 

And that’s the torch we must carry

Even when others dwindle from our eye

For it’s the torch we kindle for life in ourselves

When times are dark we must never let die.

 

I can retreat into sorrow

Feel sorry for myself for a time

But I soon put my hopes back on tomorrow

For the day may be lost, but the future’s still mine.

 

We don’t always get the things we want

But that can help make sense of what we need

And as we let our demons haunt

We must remind ourselves to breathe.

 

We can grieve the living

We can grieve parts of ourselves

But we must keep gratitude for the life we’re living

Even when it hurts deep in our cells.

 

And as I process hurt

I only ever see more work on me

And for future relationships to work

That’s maybe the way it has to be.

 

For you can educate your mind

But what’s the use if you don’t educate your soul?

For it’s only in the connection with others

I’ve ever felt anything resembling whole.

 

So today I sit in sorrow

Today I sit deep in my pain

Allowing the hurt and sorrow

Run deep through my heart and veins.

 

Ain’t this life a terror?

Don’t it hit you where it hurts?

Where you slug through and suffer hardships

For life’s brief but sweet desserts.

 

Ain’t this life a dream?

Ain’t it all we’ll ever have?

And sometimes even at its worst

If we work, it still ain’t half bad.

 

So today I sit in pain

Admiring the beauty in that too

And know maybe tomorrow we return a little to colour

With an open heart and a different prism to see through.

 

But today I sit in sorrow

Today I sit deep in my pain

Admitting the only knowing is in hoping, there will come a tomorrow

Where these feelings won’t remain.

 

© Daniel Breslin

Don’t Give Up Son

Don’t give up son
I know that you are tired
Them emotions come bubbling up some
Leave your brain feeling rewired.
 
We can go to awful despair
When we feel our feelings aren’t cared for
Or we try to summon up the words for feelings
That for us were never really there for.
 
It can take some life from you
When they all come together at once
Or people demand from you
Like you can never give enough.
 
Don’t give up son
I know that you are tired
Them emotions come bubbling up some
Leave your brain feeling rewired.
 
The things that you plough through
Sometimes they plough through you
You’re not failing any test
On the times you are not at your best.
 
You have a lot on your plate
There is a lot of good that you do
It’s alright if you’re not feeling great
I wish I could have been there more for you.
 
Don’t give up son
On those days that you are tired
You need to open up some
Even if it’s not with the one that you desired.
 
You need to let life in son
You’ve spent far too long alone
And I know in your heart you think you’ve found the woman
But that woman has said that she’s gone. 
 
You need to start living your life son
In a more caring, deeper way
Where the love that you give out
Is there for you in a similar way. 
 
Don’t give up son
You are heading in many good directions
And I know for you son
This has been one of your hardest lessons.
 
You never quit easy
I’ve always noticed that in you
And when you get your teeth in a thing
You like to see that thing through. 
 
You’ve handled a lot of loss
I’m pretty proud of the way you handled mine
And if there’s a spirit world
Know mine was with you at the time.
 
We can decide what we let in
And we can decide what we cut out
When we are strong enough
To see clearer through our doubts.
 
To do that we drink them in
We let them fill us whole
And we blow out the ones
That don’t align with our soul.
 
Don’t give up son
Today you are just feeling tired
Coming to the end of a long run
Of not really meeting your needs or desires.
 
Don’t give up son
For what looks like a painful end
Can be the beautiful start for some
In which open hearts mend. 
 
And the more you open yours
The more I’m sure that pain will ease
The fact the woman that you love, is loving someone else
Is something time will just unfortunately have to tease. 
 
You need to let some others care for you
For precious is our time
And you’re in need of love
And you never got enough of mine. 
 
Things don’t always work out
I’m the living dead proof
But everyday of life
Is an extra day of youth.
 
Don’t give up son
I know that you are tired
Them emotions come bubbling up some
Leave your brain feeling rewired.
 
Life is full of pressure
But precious does life be
And though I’m not there to say it
‘Son, you were always precious to me.’
 
Don’t give up son
You just going through incremental change
And I never knew change 
That wasn’t laced with pain.
 
You’re just re-walking your hell
Learning what served you well
Cracking open that protective shell
And drinking in the future’s smell.
 
Don’t give up son
Your heart is just reopening
And in order to do that 
We need to look at what’s been broken in it.
 
Don’t give up son
For never has that been you
You’re just breathing in your doubts
And breathing out what’s not for you.
 
Don’t give up son
For in life there is no smooth sea we sail upon
We battle against the tide 
We’re always going to get stuff wrong.
 
Don’t give up son
You just realign with the heart in you
You give that heart time
And you continue being you.
 
I’m proud of the man you are
I’m proud of the man I see
And every single man has to ask the same question
How much more can that man be? 
 
Don’t give up son 
For that’s not something that we do
But that’s just the man in me
Talking, to the man, I see, in you. 

© Daniel Breslin

Something Undeniable

Looking for something reliable
Something I can hold
Something undeniable
That doesn’t leave me feeling cold.
 
Looking for connection
With someone connected to me
Looking for affection
The kind I can feel or see. 
 
Looking for another
That doesn’t make me feel alone
Looking for the other 
To make this world a home.
 
There’s love in communication 
And that’s what I really need
I’m searching for a deeper stimulation
Something more for me.
 
I’ve spent a lot of time 
Meeting others needs
And I have a little hurt and anger
In how others have treated me. 
 
I have an anger with myself
In my needs and how I express them
Still learning in the loss
For in every loss a lesson.
 
I have an anger at myself
For actions, made in pain
But I show compassion to myself
For I sure can’t shoulder all the blame.
 
I have a sense of grief 
In how I might have made others feel
As I struggled for some peace and relief 
From the depth of pain I was facing, in my efforts to heal.
 
I have a sense of loss 
In the things that weren’t there for me
The things I couldn’t get across
The things others maybe didn’t see.
 
Pain can cloud your mind
Pain can cloud your vision
But pain must be given its time
If we are to really connect with the life we’re living. 
 
Nothing is resolved
Few things in this life are sure
But as I try to problem solve
Something deeper, feels, the only cure.
 
Every day’s a step
In the right direction
Where I grow, knowing a little less
In my journey, toward love and affection. 

© Daniel Breslin

Lost Years

Stepping into a state of grace
Away from my mistakes
Committed under the weight
Of multiple heartbreaks.

Coming to terms with the pain I was in
Pain impossible to avoid
And as I start the path from pain
I rejoice in the fact, that in that pain I was not destroyed.

It feels like everything happened at once
Everything came in a bundle
Just as I was coming to terms with one
Another tragedy would leave me humbled.

When the foundations of my family
Were crumbling before my eyes
Every other bit of pain and tragedy
Lacerated this heart inside.

I watched some I love
Go through some unexpected horrors
Lost a couple of friends
And the pain of their lost tomorrows.

Lost a bit of myself
Or an image of who I thought I was
Some of it through pain
Some of it through sacrifice for a cause.

Lost the foolish concept
That I can do it all on my own
And have been forced to get more honest
With the pain of my own home.

The pain of my beginnings
The pain of who I am
It’s in pain that I’ve been living
But I can feel it beginning to leave this man.

I accept where it is I’m at
I accept from where it is I’ve come
And I take pride in the fact
Of a lot of what I have done and overcome.

Ain’t done it all that smoothly
But I ain’t done it all that bad
My heart and soul have taken one almighty bruising
Yet here I stand.

I let go of what I hoped might be
And I’ll focus on what can be done
I won’t dwell on lost opportunity
Only on the opportunities to come.

I can’t make others decisions
That’s a privilege for themselves
I’ll just get more focused on the life I’m living
And the responsibility to myself.

I let loose responsibility to others
And redirect that focus to me
I’ve given there what I can
Now I’m giving back to me.

I made it through as best I could
I survived the best way I knew how
So I won’t linger on thoughts of should
When I look at where I am now.

These were years full of loss
And I got a little lost in them
But their lessons were not lost
And out of boys that makes men.

I’ll emerge the stronger
And I’ll emerge the better
I’ll not put up with certain things longer
But I learned I can put up with a hell of a lot of pressure.

So out of years of loss
Years lost in pain
While not side stepping the cost
I can see growth all the same.

I take pride in who I am
Focus on what’s ahead
Things fall as they fall
So I’ll not linger on regret.

Regrets are for those
Who keep their feelings to themselves
Or who walk the path of comfort
When the right path leads through hell.

This life is just a journey
We must not fear its depths
For in that there is such learning
About this world and about ourselves.

I’ve rarely shied from pain
I’ve maybe just been a little slow to share it
Always thought it was my burden to claim
And that I had the strength to bare it.

That’s a part I’m changing
And it’s bringing others closer
As I become more open in my pain and my vulnerability
And a certain family role is over.

There ain’t no fairytales here
It’s just facing what you are
And a lot of people can’t do that
So they can only get so far.

I hold my hands up to my mistakes
But I have compassion for where I was
I was operating under a lot of weights
So I have compassion for my flaws.

I have huge compassion for others
Now it’s time for some for me
And it’s through the act of self-compassion
We really set ourselves free.

Stepping into a state of grace
Away from my mistakes
Committed under the weight
Of multiple heartbreaks.

These were years full of loss
And I got a little lost in them
But their lessons were not lost
And out of boys, that makes men.

© Daniel Breslin

My Loss

My loss
Is his gain
His joy
Is my pain.

But her joy
Was my aim
So I hope that joy
Will remain.

The pain and sadness
I feel
I hope
Time will heal.

And I hope
The future for her
Is the one
She deserves.

For deserve it
She does
I wish her
Nothing but love.

I’ve made
My mistakes
Change has come
Too little, too late.

And I won’t make
More excuses
They only add
To the bruises.

As her heart’s
Made its choice
I must quiet
My voice.

And hope
The future for me
Brings something
I don’t yet see.

My loss
Is my pain
I’ll not wish her
The same.

I wish,
Her the success
She deserves
In excess.

And I must switch
My focus to me
And other hopes
I wish be.

For there’s so much
I still deserve
Even if I can’t
Build it with her.

I’ll use
This pain that I feel
To be ever
More real.

For in this new
Loss of hope
All I can do
Is seek growth.

I let go with grace
I got no room for hate
Got closure to my face
So I can move on at my pace.

I'll be building my world
One day at a time
I've been trying to build others
But now I'm back building mine.

© Daniel Breslin

The Art Of Letting Go

The art of letting go
Is an art I hate to know
Letting go of those I love
Is not something I do that good.

But it is something
That’s becoming familiar
This one’s different
But the pain is similar.

The art of letting someone be
When they don’t want to be with me
The art of finding new growth
And in heartbreak, rebuilding hope.

The art of letting go
Is an art I hate to know
But it’s an art I’m learning slow to fast
As we can’t build our futures in the past.

The art of accepting our mistakes
Realising those we love can feel for us some hate
Is undoubtedly a bitter pill to take
I accept some flaws but I had some weights.

A lot of growth comes out of pain
I’d a lot of hope in this flame
My heart is broke, that’s the name
But I’ve been a blind dope, so I can’t complain.

These were my years of suffering
These were my years of hurt
The years where a lot of what I put my work in
Didn’t seem to work.

These were years of loss
These were years full of pain
And as I weigh up and accept the cost
Want to ensure the coming years aren't the same.

So I’m a dust myself down
Take a look at the road
And try to move on
Even if I’m moving slow.

So I’ll be working on me
I’ll be working on growth
And I’ll be trying to see
New opportunities for hope.

For I am nothing
If not a man of growth
And I am nothing
If not a man of hope.

I’ll be healing my heart
And I’ll be getting stronger
I felt for this one deeply
So healing may take a little longer.

I’ve been holding on
Waiting for that final blow
My heart needed to see it in their eyes
Before it could let go.

The art of letting go
Is an art I hate to know
Letting go of those I love
Is not something I do that good.

The art of letting go
Is an art I hate to know
But I’m learning slow to fast
For we can’t build our futures in the past.

The art of letting go
The art of starting fresh
The art of letting go
Can feel a lot like death.

The art of letting go
The art of moving on
My heart’s been feeling low
With being on its own and strong.

So maybe the art of letting go
Is trying to teach me the art of letting in
And the art I hate to know
Is trying to show, there’s a new art to begin.

© Daniel Breslin

DON’T YOU DARE!

 Heartbreak is a part of life
Ain’t that the honest truth
But don’t let it make you give up on love
For it is love that keeps our youth.
 
Don’t you ever settle
If someone’s not worth settling for
But neither get too unsettled
In a belief there’s always more.
 
Just be with the one who makes your heart tick
Makes it come alive
You’ll know it when you see it
Something just feels different inside.
 
Speak your damn truth
Show your damn heart
And if it doesn’t damn work
Make a new start.
 
If you love them
Let them know
If they don’t love you
Let them go.
 
Make the brave decisions
And when they don’t pay off
Be thankful for the life you’re living
And accept all risk comes at a cost.
 
And while it undoubtedly hurts
Maybe even feels like nothing could hurt worse
In reality what could possibly hurt worse?
Than never knowing if your love could of worked?
 
So speak your damn truth
Reveal your damn heart
And win or damn lose
It’s still the only move that’s smart.
 
Some say you’ve got to hide your love away
To hell with that crap
We’re all going out someday
But I ain’t going out like that.
 
Don’t leave room for regrets
That’s much worse than a cold hard no
Be brave with your heart
And you might just save your soul.
 
So many give up
Lose themselves in work and other things
But the heart must remain childlike
Do whatever makes it sing.
 
Keep love in your heart
And it will come again
It’s not a matter of if
I believe it’s just a matter of when.
 
Never quit on your love
Until your love quits on you
And you’ll leave this world good
No matter what comes through.
 
I’ll go out looking a fool
The same way I came in
With love there is no cool
And it’s about much more than the win.
 
So when your love falls apart
Believe, it will come again
And if you can still keep love in your heart
Then you deserve love my friend.
 
So keep love in your heart
And speak your damn truth
And don’t ever quit on your love
Until your love quits on you.
 
Speak your damn truth
Reveal your damn heart
And win or damn lose
It’s still the only move that’s smart.
 
Some say you’ve got to hide your love away
TO HELL WITH THAT CRAP!
We’re all going out someday
DON’T YOU DARE! Go out like that.

© Daniel Breslin