Tonight I Just Kicked Back

Tonight I just kicked back
Enjoyed a bit of peace
Been awhile since I’ve had that
In my soul at least.

Got a loved one out there
Intent on destroying themselves
Tried damn near everything
But they’re damn near lost to help.

So tonight I enjoyed my peace
Let go of so many I love
For they’re either dead or dying
Or their love does me no good.

Got plenty of other loved ones
So going to pay a little more mind to them
But I’m heavily focused on myself
For the first time since I don’t know when.

Become so used to helping others
Feels strange only helping myself
And spent so long smiling through pain
Feel a peace, honestly not sure I’ve ever felt.

This conflicts with some around me
But there’s only so much anyone can do
So tonight just enjoyed the peace
Focused on the new.

Sat in walls of silence
Poured myself, one drink
Didn’t exactly sit there smiling
But there was less pain in the thoughts to think.

Most thoughts were just of me
Of what I need or want to do
And what actions I need to take
To try ensure those things come through.

Been doing a lot of things by myself
For a mighty long time
But starting to receive a little help
And learning to accept that’s fine.

So tonight I just kicked back
Enjoyed a little peace
It’s been awhile since I’ve had that
In my soul at least.

© Daniel Breslin