Sit down now father
Won’t you sit with me today?
It’s been a mighty long time
Since you went away.
Sit down now father
Spare me five minutes if you may
What is it you think?
Of the man I am today?
I’m a little scared to ask
A lot of things been going astray
Things haven’t really been easy
Since you went away.
I’ve done many things wrong
I’ve made so many mistakes
It’s just you were so strong
And you left such heavy weights.
I’m not here to complain
I’ve tried carry them weights with pride
It’s just these days they’re causing me such pain
And certain things I’m losing are really hurting me inside.
I’ve sacrificed myself
Some relationships and goals
I’ve kind of missed your help
You left such a big hole.
I’m not saying it’s been all bad
And I’m not here to play the saint
I’ve had many laughs, had my own mishaps
You know a false picture I’d not paint.
But would you tell me that you’re proud?
Of most things that I’ve done?
I’ve seldom followed the crowd
And I always stick to my guns.
But your daughter’s not doing too good
I’ve tried most things I can
But she keeps refusing love
And in some ways I’m having to wash my hands.
I’ve tried to do you proud
I’ve tried to make her believe in her strengths
But she’s got so lost in the crowd
Become so lost in your absence.
She’s so brave, she’s so much fight
In many ways she’s just like you
But she’s so damn lost in life
And I’m feeling a little lost too.
You made me feel like I belong
You gave me such a sense of home
And you know since you’ve been gone
In many ways I’ve felt alone.
I’ve missed your advice
I’ve really missed those father chats
But I learned to talk to the paper
And I taught the paper to talk back.
But that’s not something she has
And she’s got so much rage
She’s every right to be mad
But she deals with it in all the wrong ways.
She’s got so much of you
That I’ll never give up hope
I love her through and through
But I fear the pain’s become too much to cope.
I’ve tried to guide her through
But there’s things she can’t express
She really needed you
And compared to you I’m so much less.
In many ways I feel I’ve failed ya
But I intend to change that, I do
If life is kind enough
To allow me more time than you.
It’s time to walk my own path
Step from the shadow of you
I’m not turning my back
Quitting is something I struggle to do.
It’s just time to believe in myself
Make something of what I got from you
In life you gave me such strength
Your presence is still felt in most things I do.
It’s time I made better of myself
For I can do so much better in so much I do
And I never knew you to be one for excuses
So maybe it’s time I made less of them too.
Since you left things have been so much harder
But I want you to know, it is your spirit that’s seen me through
And I’m being forced to let go of many things
But I came here today to tell you father,
I’ll never let go of you.
© Daniel Breslin