I want different results
So something’s got to change
Thought I was blinded by love
But I was blinded by pain.

Being comforted in pain
Has not been my experience
So no wonder I acted strange
When that could of made an appearance.
 
I felt I was doing right
Looking out for others
Keeping my pain tight
Out of sight and under covers.
 
But I was preventing connection
Living through blinded eyes
Making it hard to receive another’s affection
Preventing making what I craved inside.
 
I was trying to reach out
Something for me in pain that was new
And the second that was questioned
It became almost impossible for me to do.
 
The language that was needed 
Was not one that I possessed
And I was self defeated
In creating my own mess.
 
Simple words ‘I need you’
Felt nearly impossible for me to say or write
And crazier actions and words came easier
As my needs were caught between pride and 
egos fight.
 
To say the simple words ‘I need you’
Was almost to dissolve all I thought I was or am
As doing it by myself supporting others
Is really all I understand.

That’s the part I’m changing
That’s the flaw I claim
I thought I was hurt by love
But I was blinded by pain.
 
So how I deal with pain
Has made me lose someone I feel I love
And I can’t afford to let that happen again
So change is a little too late but still 
for the good.
 
I have been meeting others needs
For an extended period of time
Now it’s time to also receive
And allow others to meet mine.
 
That’s a work in progress
Of myself I’d say the same
As I made a mess of love
Blinded by my pain.
 
Through my blinded eyes
I caused pain in others
So their wish to hurt me shouldn’t be a surprise
Or the fact they’re happier with other lovers.
 
The fact I hurt them hurts me
As that was everything I tried not to do
But not to let others in is a strange kind
of vanity
That doesn’t hurt one but hurts two.
 
They’ve their issues too
So it ain’t all on me
But working on me is all I’ve power to do
So that’s how it’s got to be.
 
She has long moved on
Time my heart started moving on too
I’ve been blinded by the pain
Creating this painful moment too.
 
My needs are front in mind
How I meet them, that’s all new
And while with her I’ve ran out of time
Hopefully for me, the same’s not true.
 
I was blinded by the pain
But I am blinded no more
I was changing for her
But now it’s me I’m changing for.

© Daniel Breslin