Tag Archives: Pain

Something Undeniable

Looking for something reliable
Something I can hold
Something undeniable
That doesn’t leave me feeling cold.
Looking for connection
With someone connected to me
Looking for affection
The kind I can feel or see. 
Looking for another
That doesn’t make me feel alone
Looking for the other 
To make this world a home.
There’s love in communication 
And that’s what I really need
I’m searching for a deeper stimulation
Something more for me.
I’ve spent a lot of time 
Meeting others needs
And I have a little hurt and anger
In how others have treated me. 
I have an anger with myself
In my needs and how I express them
Still learning in the loss
For in every loss a lesson.
I have an anger at myself
For actions, made in pain
But I show compassion to myself
For I sure can’t shoulder all the blame.
I have a sense of grief 
In how I might have made others feel
As I struggled for some peace and relief 
From the depth of pain I was facing, in my efforts to heal.
I have a sense of loss 
In the things that weren’t there for me
The things I couldn’t get across
The things others maybe didn’t see.
Pain can cloud your mind
Pain can cloud your vision
But pain must be given its time
If we are to really connect with the life we’re living. 
Nothing is resolved
Few things in this life are sure
But as I try to problem solve
Something deeper, feels, the only cure.
Every day’s a step
In the right direction
Where I grow, knowing a little less
In my journey, toward love and affection. 

© Daniel Breslin

Meet And Greet

Feeling sorry for myself
In some ways that’s where I’ve been
Trying to nurse a broken heart
Deny the pain I’m in. 
Kind of used to fighting pain
Just ploughing into something else
Trying to focus heart and brain
On making something of myself.
Always trying to make something out of it
Create something better than before
But for awhile there’s been really no getting out of it
And the pain in my heart has been harder to ignore.
This particular pain
Is not one I really know how to deal with
But maybe in that there’s change
Got to learn to accept and really feel it.
I’ve been in search of comfort
Not really sure of how or where to find it
As certain things in life give me such discomfort
And of them I’m constantly reminded.
We can try and distance ourselves from pain
Pretend our reality is not what it really is
That’s something I’m trying to change
But now and again I’m still guilty of this.
I’ve found some comfort in sharing
Something I’m constantly trying to improve
But sometimes some things in life are wearing
And you can’t help but feeling bruised.
But today the sun is shining
And I acknowledge that pain deep
And I lose the sorry for myself part
Not something you can always avoid but not a part you have to keep.
I go out and face the day
A little more aware, vulnerable, and yet stronger in who I am
We all have our burdens to bare
And not everything goes to plan.
I don’t even know what that plan is
Just that in my heart I want some change in
And I feel more certain in the knowledge, we all have days
Where it feels good, to meet and greet our pain within.

© Daniel Breslin

Lost Years

Stepping into a state of grace
Away from my mistakes
Committed under the weight
Of multiple heartbreaks.

Coming to terms with the pain I was in
Pain impossible to avoid
And as I start the path from pain
I rejoice in the fact, that in that pain I was not destroyed.

It feels like everything happened at once
Everything came in a bundle
Just as I was coming to terms with one
Another tragedy would leave me humbled.

When the foundations of my family
Were crumbling before my eyes
Every other bit of pain and tragedy
Lacerated this heart inside.

I watched some I love
Go through some unexpected horrors
Lost a couple of friends
And the pain of their lost tomorrows.

Lost a bit of myself
Or an image of who I thought I was
Some of it through pain
Some of it through sacrifice for a cause.

Lost the foolish concept
That I can do it all on my own
And have been forced to get more honest
With the pain of my own home.

The pain of my beginnings
The pain of who I am
It’s in pain that I’ve been living
But I can feel it beginning to leave this man.

I accept where it is I’m at
I accept from where it is I’ve come
And I take pride in the fact
Of a lot of what I have done and overcome.

Ain’t done it all that smoothly
But I ain’t done it all that bad
My heart and soul have taken one almighty bruising
Yet here I stand.

I let go of what I hoped might be
And I’ll focus on what can be done
I won’t dwell on lost opportunity
Only on the opportunities to come.

I can’t make others decisions
That’s a privilege for themselves
I’ll just get more focused on the life I’m living
And the responsibility to myself.

I let loose responsibility to others
And redirect that focus to me
I’ve given there what I can
Now I’m giving back to me.

I made it through as best I could
I survived the best way I knew how
So I won’t linger on thoughts of should
When I look at where I am now.

These were years full of loss
And I got a little lost in them
But their lessons were not lost
And out of boys that makes men.

I’ll emerge the stronger
And I’ll emerge the better
I’ll not put up with certain things longer
But I learned I can put up with a hell of a lot of pressure.

So out of years of loss
Years lost in pain
While not side stepping the cost
I can see growth all the same.

I take pride in who I am
Focus on what’s ahead
Things fall as they fall
So I’ll not linger on regret.

Regrets are for those
Who keep their feelings to themselves
Or who walk the path of comfort
When the right path leads through hell.

This life is just a journey
We must not fear its depths
For in that there is such learning
About this world and about ourselves.

I’ve rarely shied from pain
I’ve maybe just been a little slow to share it
Always thought it was my burden to claim
And that I had the strength to bare it.

That’s a part I’m changing
And it’s bringing others closer
As I become more open in my pain and my vulnerability
And a certain family role is over.

There ain’t no fairytales here
It’s just facing what you are
And a lot of people can’t do that
So they can only get so far.

I hold my hands up to my mistakes
But I have compassion for where I was
I was operating under a lot of weights
So I have compassion for my flaws.

I have huge compassion for others
Now it’s time for some for me
And it’s through the act of self-compassion
We really set ourselves free.

Stepping into a state of grace
Away from my mistakes
Committed under the weight
Of multiple heartbreaks.

These were years full of loss
And I got a little lost in them
But their lessons were not lost
And out of boys, that makes men.

© Daniel Breslin

My Loss

My loss
Is his gain
His joy
Is my pain.

But her joy
Was my aim
So I hope that joy
Will remain.

The pain and sadness
I feel
I hope
Time will heal.

And I hope
The future for her
Is the one
She deserves.

For deserve it
She does
I wish her
Nothing but love.

I’ve made
My mistakes
Change has come
Too little, too late.

And I won’t make
More excuses
They only add
To the bruises.

As her heart’s
Made its choice
I must quiet
My voice.

And hope
The future for me
Brings something
I don’t yet see.

My loss
Is my pain
I’ll not wish her
The same.

I wish,
Her the success
She deserves
In excess.

And I must switch
My focus to me
And other hopes
I wish be.

For there’s so much
I still deserve
Even if I can’t
Build it with her.

I’ll use
This pain that I feel
To be ever
More real.

For in this new
Loss of hope
All I can do
Is seek growth.

I let go with grace
I got no room for hate
Got closure to my face
So I can move on at my pace.

I'll be building my world
One day at a time
I've been trying to build others
But now I'm back building mine.

© Daniel Breslin

Blinded By The Pain

I want different results
So something’s got to change
Thought I was blinded by love
But I was blinded by pain.

Being comforted in pain
Has not been my experience
So no wonder I acted strange
When that could of made an appearance.

I felt I was doing right
Looking out for others
Keeping my pain tight
Out of sight and under covers.

But I was preventing connection
Living through blinded eyes
Making it hard to receive another’s affection
Preventing making what I craved inside.

I was trying to reach out
Something for me in pain that was new
And the second that was questioned
It became almost impossible for me to do.

The language that was needed
Was not one that I possessed
And I was self defeated
In creating my own mess.

Simple words ‘I need you’
Felt nearly impossible for me to say or write
And crazier actions and words came easier
As my needs were caught between pride and
egos fight.

To say the simple words ‘I need you’
Was almost to dissolve all I thought I was or am
As doing it by myself supporting others
Is really all I understand.

That’s the part I’m changing
That’s the flaw I claim
I thought I was hurt by love
But I was blinded by pain.

So how I deal with pain
Has made me lose someone I feel I love
And I can’t afford to let that happen again
So change is a little too late but still
for the good.

I have been meeting others needs
For an extended period of time
Now it’s time to also receive
And allow others to meet mine.

That’s a work in progress
Of myself I’d say the same
As I made a mess of love
Blinded by my pain.

Through my blinded eyes
I caused pain in others
So their wish to hurt me shouldn’t be a surprise
Or the fact they’re happier with other lovers.

The fact I hurt them hurts me
As that was everything I tried not to do
But not to let others in is a strange kind
of vanity
That doesn’t hurt one but hurts two.

They’ve their issues too
So it ain’t all on me
But working on me is all I’ve power to do
So that’s how it’s got to be.

She has long moved on
Time my heart started moving on too
I’ve been blinded by the pain
Creating this painful moment too.

My needs are front in mind
How I meet them, that’s all new
And while with her I’ve ran out of time
Hopefully for me, the same’s not true.

I was blinded by the pain
But I am blinded no more
I was changing for her
But now it’s me I’m changing for.

© Daniel Breslin

She’s Young And In Control

She’s young and in control
Little more fashion than soul
Got her eyes fixed on a goal
Lot of guys want to play a role.

She can take them or leave them
She’s young she doesn’t need them
She’s content enjoying her freedom
It’s the very essence of her reason.

She’s got focus she knows what she wants
Won’t be noticed in local haunts
She’s got a body one she flaunts
And it helps achieve those wants.

But she won’t be tied down
Fall in love then you’re a clown
There’s more than a few around
Walking wounded all over town.

The girl knows how to dress
And only ever does to impress
She’s obsessed on being a success
Get in her way she’s coming off best.

She’s such a vibrant pretty thing
And everything in her life’s a fling
That’s the kind of feeling she bring
Enters a room, commands all within.

Eyes are fixed from both the sexes
Women envy, men become restless
She’s desire cloaked in dresses
Some perspire from mere caresses.

Men are so willing to give
For just the promise of a taste
She gives reason for some to live
But she’s always on the take.

Beware of the pain if you enter the game
Because for many, the pain is too great
When she takes their offers empties their coffers
And progresses from them post haste.

© Daniel Breslin