The last few years I’ve been going through something
One could now really only call a purge
And I’ll tell you this for nothing
It’s been one hell of a learning curve.
I learned a lot about others
But most of all about myself
People have always said that I’m deep
But I discovered a few extra levels with shelves.
I might not of survived without them
As my mentality was tested through and through
I carried a lot in the situation I was found in
And right or wrong, I kept most of it to myself too.
I’ve always been kind of private about my family
But that’s something I’m gradually having to change too
As I let go with love of some family
One of the hardest things, I’ve ever had to do.
For all I know is family
I’ve stuck to them like glue
But they’ve come undone around me
And I am so forced to become someone a little new.
Now my soul’s been hit hard
Been forced to reassess some values too
And if you’ve ever had to numb feelings to those loved living
That’s something you can relate to too.
It takes time, there’s no two ways about it
It’s a process, if you do and see rightly through
And you’ll have immense lows, do not doubt it
But letting go can breathe life, even feel liberating as you do.
Some of the greatest words of support I’ve received
Came from one of the greatest friends I’ll ever have
When late one night out drinking, more powerful the more they sink in
She said,”You know you are not your Dad?”.
As that’s the role I’ve been playing
Trying to grow into my whole life
It’s a truth, I’m only acknowledging and relaying
I’m not saying that I’ve done it right.
It’s been a pressure at times so overbearing
I’d not recommend it to a living soul
It’s just when my father passed
No one else, took on the role.
So I’ve tried grow myself through hardships
While trying to grow and support others too
But without question the step that’s been the hardest
Is accepting the only person growing, may be you.
I’ve by no means dealt with everything suavely
At times I’ve staggered, stumbled, and heaved my way through
As I’ve tried desperately to maintain the bonding
And get others to want the best for themselves too.
But there’s truths we all must face
Secrets can become no more than obstacles in our view
So being honest in our own flaws and mistakes
May help others be honest in theirs too.
So play the hand you’re given
Juggle, struggle, and heave your way through
But don’t give too much of yourself to those who don’t listen
Or the truth is you’re not listening too.
Some of the greatest words of support I’ve received
Came from one of the greatest friends I’ll ever have
When late one night out drinking, become more powerful the more they sink in
She said,”You know you are not your Dad?”.
The Purge.
© Daniel Breslin