Today I woke up
And I just drank in that pain
Of seeing the woman I love
Happy with another man.
I felt happy for her
And more than sad for me
For the loss of someone great
And something that will never be.
I sure ain't sad for her
It's always good to see her do well
And I've been walking through pain
Living with hell.
I feel joy for her
And a lot of compassion for me
It's been a while in the making
But it's still heartbreaking to see.
I can’t blame her
I can only blame, me
So it feels like double hurt
And that there’s much more work for me.
I’ve been working on me
Doing overtime on my issues and flaws
But to tell you the truth
It feels like I lost my main cause.
It’s like a nail in the coffin
It’s like a dagger in the chest
But I’d be a liar, as well as a fool
If I said it hurt less.
I just made things so difficult
With things I did and didn't say
It's just for me times were so difficult
And I didn't deal with them all the right way.
I couldn't tell her I need her
When I needed her most
I wish I could express my feelings easier
Like how I feel when she's close.
I feel happy for her
More than sad for me
But what you love
You must set free.
I got mad love for her
And I’m just mad at me
But sometimes your love hurts
And that’s just more work for me.
I can’t fight this one
Just got to let the feeling sit
I’ve known, in denial for a while
But today delivered the killer hit.
For a while I could barely
Bare to hear her name
For my heart
Was in so much pain.
But I love her person just the same
Even with a broken heart
Now loving myself the same
Seems the only place to start.
So I’ll just be working on me
Drinking in this pain
And I just hope I NEVER
Make those mistakes again.
© Daniel Breslin