Stoner

Here I am on my own again
Smoking a split, surrounded by friends
I’m losing scope
Can’t stop smoking dope
Then became a dope
All I do is mope
Barely ever seem to smile
Think I’ve changed, I’m a different style
I used to be outgoing
But now my memory’s slowing
And I think it’s showing
Shit, you think they be knowing?
Paranoid now, try and stress a smile
Paranoia, just more shit on my pile
Blow only serves to rile
Me into a trance for awhile
On my own cut off
My brain shut off
So focused on daydreams
You wouldn’t believe what I just seen
Then my memory wipes clean
My brains playing for a different team
Ganging up on me
I swear that motherfucker’s my enemy
He won’t let me be
Always depressing me
Why you stressing me?
Set me free
All I do is think
And then I think
Did I just blink?
Shit I over think
My mind playing games on me
He’s got different aims than me
Ain’t y’all see a change in me?
I’m a stranger me
I’m a different person
On my own lift the curtain
This is my soul
Can you see the whole
It’s taking its toll
I’m losing all control.

Please someone help me
I feel unhealthy
Ain’t been myself see
At least not lately
Think I’m going crazy
Won’t someone save me.

When I’m in a crowd I feel lonely
I think man if only
I hadn’t done a certain act
I wouldn’t be where I’m at
But I am, that’s the fact
There’s no turning back
I’m young I should be livin’
All sins forgiven
Feel trapped in a prison
On a site working for a livin’
I’m fine while I’m there
But I get home back in this chair
And all I do is stare
Into thin air
My mind wandering
While everybody wondering
What the fuck is his game
All shouting my name
While I’m fighting my brain
Trying to get him to explain
What happened to our compatibility
Why he’s changing my personality
Shutting off reality
Another fatality
BANG! A boot up the ass
And everybody laugh
At my dumb ass
Man hurry up and pass
You been hogging that grass
In future you’re getting the thing last
I’m not the same as I used to
That’s what herbal abuse do
Who knew?
Not me
I didn’t see
The possibility
Drugs would get a hold of me.
Take a blow off the smoke
As I cough and choke
Think is it my attitude or just the smoke
Even a thick could tell you it’s both.

Please someone help me
I feel unhealthy
Ain’t been myself see
At least not lately
Think I’m going crazy
Won’t someone save me?

Everyday I get the blues
Try to fight it but I lose
I’m not the one who gets to choose
As long as I misuse
The marijuana
I’m never gonna
Get my life together
Work hard so I can better
Myself
Get fit, improve my health
To get back to myself
Would be beyond any financial wealth
That’s the truth
Think I’ve found the root
To all my problems
Maybe now I can start to solve them
They will start dissolving
And my world will start revolving
Again,
For I’ve been still for awhile now my friend
Instead of my life coming to an end
Maybe now it’s on the mend
Now I think I can
Take the step from boy to man
Realise I’ve to suffer the consequences
Of my own actions
And my worst action
Was getting caught up in distractions
And forgetting my own passion
Expression,
Have to learn to stop stressing
And take this as a lesson
Learned,
As the world turns
One chance spurned
Means another must be earned.

© Daniel Breslin